Monday, 4 May 2015

Turn-ip Around Party: Manifesto 2015.

For many years now, Britain has been run by a number of "Characters", mostly people. How about giving Britain their First ever Vegetable Prime Minister? (All the puns in this manifesto are intended)

We need someone a little bit more GROUNDED? a little less ROOTED to our country's problems? (I'll stop in a minute...actually I won't, sorry not sorry!) I present the short manifesto for our people, fruit and vegetables alike; animals maybe, provided they don't and won't eat him. Also known as the list of promises, we probably won't keep or we might, I'm not sure yet it depends on whether it's ripening season.


The Turn-ip around Party will stamp out vegetable and fruit discrimination, we will make it known that Mr Turnip can man Mr Turnip if he wants to, Mr Carrot can have relations with Mrs Potato if he wants to, we will fight for an equal Britain.
We will make sure it is known that a Tomato can be whatever fruit/veg he desires, just because they can dress both fruit and veg,  does NOT mean they should be treated differently and put in your fruit bowl. A potato is not necessarily always Irish, a Swede is not always Swedish; it's time we dig out these stereotypes and plant a new, equal hope for Britain.
The Turn-ip around party will TURN-ip Britain on it's head, it will offer a better economy for our farmers and open up local markets, so that sons, daughters, fathers, mothers are reunited at the local store.  Everyone has an equal right to be in this country, if it is where they wish to be, everyone brings forward something new to this place, new ideas and fresh greens are what keep Britain alive. No new ideas, would mean that we wouldn't have even invented the wheel, move forward and welcome all.

Let's be honest, we don't have enough greens. The Turn-ip around Party will bring Britain into a wealthy future, somehow. But first we're going to talk about where we are going to spend this imaginary money, worry about where it comes from later.

VFHS (Vegetable and Fruit Health Service) 

We will expand our health service so that there is more space, more beds, more access to X-rays and scans, we will bring down the age for a Smear test to just 18, we will open up more Dr's Surgeries and Genetically modified vegetable and fruit clinics. We will fund it with the money that we have yet to find!


We will grow and expand on our greenhouses, to allow more couples to have young children in a safe and growing environment, where they are nurtured, educated on the importance of photosynthesis and at the caring hands of you Britain.
Without you, we would not be here. I would not be standing here today, making all these promises to you, without your caring green fingers and expert knowledge on what I need to grow and expand.
Now, let me pay back the favour, let me make Britain the best country and garden it could possibly ever be.

We have the vote of Benedict Cabbagepatch, Do we have your patch too?

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