Sunday 20 December 2015

Identity Crisis: I am what I post. (Social media and it's impact on identity)

Hello Everyone,
This is just some rough media theory ideas I have to start with. The essay discusses the impacts of social media on our identity and sense of self. 



Media has impacted our lines of communication, opinions and views of the world in a variety of ways, some of these being positive and others negative; some have even impacted our identities and sense of self. 
There have been many discussions about how social media, in particular, is impacting generation after generation; it is believed that social media has been a true cause of “identity crisis” in some cases where the lines of online persona and offline identity blur. Self-esteem, confidence, language and social interaction development is believed to be less advanced in those who use social media regularly, in comparison to those who have regular face-to-face communication.


Your identity is not something you are born with, who you are, is not written within your DNA and nor is the person you will become. Moreover, your identity is built up through external and internal experiences, I am not the same person I was 5 years ago at the age of 18, nor will I be this same person at the age of 28, 5 years later. Who I am is based on my environment, experiences, the people I surround myself with as well as many other factors. If we throw in a mix of the media culture with easy access to a variety of different corners of the world and I’m sure you get the idea; media is believed to be an extension of self.
Before the Internet became a high part of our day-to-day life, there was a high amount of anonymity with a lot of people not revealing as much about their real identity as they do online, in today's culture. 
Online persona’s have become closer to our reality with many people beginning to blog their day-to-day life, post a status about it on Facebook, share images which relate to their situations as a form of expression and write tweets of no more than a few characters to their favourite celebrities; the social media is gaining more of our identity in comparison to how it was previously and this can pose many threats such as identity theft, hacking and tracking every move, easy ways of finding where you live etc. But of course, it has many positives as well, we can get to know new people and learn more about ourselves by connecting with these people, who we share similar interests with according to their profile.  
However, although social media attempts to connect everyone together, forming a united global nation, there are still some negatives and worrying cases in which, social media has actually placed people in harm or had them questioning their identity and sense of self.
Identity theft is just one of the many crimes that can occur on social media, people who often steal your identity and take on this fake persona can be after a variety of things, and they may target your friends or family. Over one million people are affected by online identity theft every year; the aftermath of these events can cause the victim major identity repairs which cost them countless hours and money to fix. Social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, the more information they obtain about you, the more they target adverts and interests personally to you therefore, giving them more revenue, which is why many adverts that appear on your Facebook, twitter or YouTube will be different to the adverts appearing on your mothers or best friends. However, by publicizing so much online you are opening up a world of crimes right at your door step, for example if you post that you’re out of town on Vacation you may have invited someone in to burgle your house and they’ll find that online somehow, whether it’s tracking the location of your old statuses etc. With websites like Pinterest, YouTube and Flickr, people can get real insight into who you, your family, your friends are and what your interests etc.
Identity theft can make a victim feel very intruded upon, they may even begin to relate themselves to the person whose stolen their identity, making vast changes to themselves to not associate with the theft of who they are. It’s like you’ve been burgled except what they’ve stolen from you is the safety of your family, yourself and your skin. It’s like they’ve taken your body for a walk around and never returned it, it can lead a person to self loathing for publishing too much about themselves online and sharing so much with others, it can make a person feel invaded, like they have taken away everything you have by becoming you. Furthermore, identity theft especially if your name and details are used to take out credit or bank cards, can wreak havoc on your credit scores preventing the victim from being able to obtain a mortgage to buy a house. (Read about preventing identity theft here: https://www.protectmyid.com/identity-theft-protection-resources/identity-recovery/one-victims-story.aspx )

You could argue that in some ways, you see so many Instagram photographs, twitter posts about how fabulous your favourite Youtuber’s life is etc. you do your best to look like them, to be slim, toned, to have the same or similar designer makeup brands or clothes.
Social media is a cause for concern on the younger generations to some extent, however let’s not get caught up in this idea that the generation of young viewers do not understand, because they know and they are totally aware of the difference between their social media representation and their reality representation. They are also fully aware that the media’s view and representation of the world is just like looking through a window; you can not see the full picture, you do not know what the surroundings beyond this window view look like; they know this is just one perspective or view point, if they moved away from the window and stepped outside they would see more than just this one view. So why is everyone discussing something, which is just one particular way of viewing the world? Why is the number of views, likes etc. so important? Acceptance.
Each piece of media is targeted to audiences; these audiences will connect and accept each other because they share the same views, it is human nature to seek social interaction and acceptance throughout our lives. People with the same views, obsessions and interests find comfort as well as reassurance, because they are not the only person thinking or feeling this particular view, emotion or obsession, their peers accept them; this acceptance has been known since the dawn of time in human subconscious to have many benefits on a person’s life, you see it within the tribes when we had just basic instinct to survive.
In social media terms, a thousand likes on a photograph, loads of comments showering the person with compliments, affection and admiration, 1 million and something followers may lead to the subconscious thought of “in order for me to be accepted into a social sphere or liked, I need to look like or be like this person.” The feelings of needing to become someone else due to their acceptance or lack of on social media sites have been known to be affect or sometimes be the cause of mental health problems such as Anorexia, depression, anxiety, Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) to name a few.  
A constant comparison between yourself and another person is of course known to lead to low self-esteem, distorted ideas about body image, weight and size or sometimes issues with self and your own personality. So what kind of “identity crisis” does this create? Simple, the audience members may wish to become what they are exposed to or become similar to their peers on these social media sites in order to gain followers, likes, sponsorships, fame, admiration or friends; if this attempt at gaining admiration or followers doesn’t work, they may begin to feel rejected and this will cause comparisons, consist change of image or personality, low self-esteem and confidence, as well as self-loathing.
In experimenting with their looks, their personality and trying to obtain the same style or look as someone they idolize; they may lose the current identity they have. This can be deemed as totally ok, because throughout life we do change identity consistently. However, it is when this desire to be or look like another, lowers the self-esteem of the person and causes severe behaviour changes which are life threatening to themselves or others. It’s OK if you bought the jacket you saw on that YouTuber because you liked it, or because you liked the colour and style of lipstick etc. But when you go to extremes to become this person, when you say things such as “I will never be as popular or glamorous or famous as her” or desire and want what they have, that the audience member may think they require the expensive makeup or jewellery to be accepted, they may seek to find their value online by beginning to blog themselves or expose themselves on camera, even go to extremes of putting themselves in debt to obtain their look.
Essena O’Neill left social media in September 2015 claiming that it’s “not real life”. She claimed that people should not give up on their dreams, went into descriptive details about how she went around taking her images just for the acceptance from others online and went on to say that this is not a life, being stuck to her screen waiting for the comments and likes was not a life.
To some extent, her opinion is valid and certainly understandable. However, although social media has had negatives and created some flawed opinions of audience’s body image, social media has made some advantages of bringing others together.

Facebook has been used to bring people together in a variety of ways, from connecting people such as myself to friends and family back in the UK, to forming revolutions, which overthrow presidents. The Tunisian revolution using Facebook in 2010 and the Egyptian Revolution (also known as January 25) in 2011 are two of the most well known, social media organised revolutions. Tunisian revolution also is known as the Jasmine revolution was a popular uprising against poverty, corruption and political repression, which eventually resulted in President Zine Al-Abidine Ben Ali to resign in January 2011. The Protests began when unemployed 26-year-old, Mohammed Bouazizi, set fire to himself outside a municipal office in the town of Sid Bouzid in central Tunisia. The officials demanded his merchandise and they were demanding bribes; many of the protests, which followed these events, were often organised via social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter. Ben Ali responded by sending in his police forces to shoot the protestors and this battle between them continued, from December 18th until January 2011, so what was the involvement of Facebook? Many people involved in the protests posted their videos online either in Tunisian uprising groups, events pages, some contacted each other via Twitter and many of them filmed the events of the police shooting the protesters, posting these online to gather support and more followers in their course. Some of the anonymous people running these pages, in fear of getting arrested asked to remain anonymous, claim to have stayed online for 18 hours to run this page, ensuring protesters have all the information. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9KIWD4Ru_0 )
Although there may not have been many changes within the wages and unemployment, however, they have more freedom to speak and their online social media, videos etc. are no longer controlled by their government; they have a freedom to speak openly about their experiences, opinions and ideas.
This, however, was not the first time media had been used to gain more followers, in fact, probably some of the most historic moments were the suffragettes extreme attempts to gain propaganda, in order to obtain the votes for women. The WSPU organisation of 1906 was the most radical party, which brought more news and press coverage to the political argument, which had already been debated for a total of 46 years. Emmeline Pankhurst and her two daughters, Christabel and Sylvia, founded the Women’s Social and Political union with the slogan of “Deeds not words”. They committed acts such as smashing the windows of the Prime minister office, chaining to buildings, throwing themselves under the King’s horse etc.
These connections with others who share the same view can be just as dangerous as they are revolutionary. How does this connect with the idea of “identity”? Can you be involved in a social media revolution and tell me it will not change you? To have caused a revolution and have some notice from the government or press, there is an ideology that more and more people will join your course or motion. Sharing petitions online might not be as extreme as jumping in front of a horse, but you’re still speaking about your view point and when others share it or join in with the petition, you instantly have a connection or similarity with that person and you’ve both made some sort of difference. This may have some positive impacts on your sense of self as you realise standing for what you believe in will gain more followers, signatures, likes etc.
Could you imagine what would have happened without Thomas Edison, the man who gave us the light bulb, the phonograph and motion picture cameras? Could you imagine if it were another man, aside Abraham Lincoln, who led America into the Civil war? Would slavery have been abolished without Abraham? The same applies for yourselves, although you may not be a president or king right now, you may not yet have invented something as important as “toaster strudle” or have a daughter named Gretchen, but one day you are going to invent or make a difference, either impacting the world, another world or just a person. This blog post is not to make you feel less of a person, but to make you proud of being who you are, online and offline.

Friday 18 December 2015

Wednesday 16 December 2015

Once upon a time 5A: Camelot Plot, Merida, familiar faces and the Underworld.

Hello Everyone,

Those of you who know me personally or have just read my previous post in June, you will know how much I love Once upon a Time and with Season 5A drawing into a close until March, I have only a couple of words to summarise my feelings towards this winter season finale; curious, intrigued, uncertain and out-of-body, to name a few. This review is super long as always, because I review the whole season and not just an episode at a time, so as of 5B I think I will start to try to do an episode at a time so expect a review each week for this show as of March. For now, here is the half of the review specifically looking at Merlin, Arthur and the Camelot plot, Merida, the return of Red and Mulan plus what we may expect from season half B.

Let's bring you up to speed...
If you haven't already you can read my previous post about Season 4 finale as well as the season 5A winter finale on Zelena, Regina, Dark Swan, Hook, Rumple, Belle and Robin Hood. Give yourself a couple of minutes to read through those OR please come back to this post once you've watched season 4 and 5A.
Do not read any further if you have not seen it already as this contains many spoilers.


Season 4 began with Emma being "sucked up in a vortex of evil" and our sorcerer's apprentice ushering his final words "find Merlin, he is the only one that can help you now". So naturally, we're given the quest to cross realms and dwell into the Arthurian Kingdom of legend that is Camelot and it is not the place you expect it to be.
We arrive in the Enchanted forest where we meet our first new character, the Queen of DunBroch, Merida.
I first need to discuss how I have no seen Brave, I tried very hard to watch it but honestly, I just did not enjoy the start I do not know exactly why whether it's the film, because of my mood or something along those lines. I can not make an honest comparative between the animation and Once upon a times version of her, what I can say, however, I love Merida! Out of all the new character's that they have introduced this season she is one of the favourites, feisty, fierce and, of course, Brave. I find her very entertaining to watch and in particular when she is around Emma, due to their first unfriendly meeting in the forest as well as Emma abducting her in Storybrooke to train Rumple to be brave. Within the first meeting, we saw the Darkness have a stronger hold of Emma as she was accidentally causing harm when she didn't mean to, ripping Merida's heart out to take the will-o-the-wisp from her so she can find Merlin. However, with the appearance of Emma's family, Merida was saved and free to continue her quest to save her brothers, proving to DunBroch that she is their rightful queen.

Now it's already been argued, with the return of Ruby (Red Riding Hood) and Mulan, are you on ship BraveWarrior or RedWarrior? For me personally, RedWarrior, I'd say the relationship between Mulan and Merida, if it is anything, is either sisterly or mother-daughter relationship, especially with Mulan acting as a mother role when it comes to training Merida in battle and agreeing with the father to protect her from entering the battle. Furthermore, the cute sweet smile Red gave Mulan when inviting her to join the hunt for others like Red, who could turn into Wolves, not to mention when they first met, could already feel the chemistry, then again it is Ruby! If you haven't seen her, well, I pity you cause she is fabulous; did I mention I am so so happy to have her back?
Just look at her, that skin that hair and the smile! I feel like Aladdin. I hear you may ask, where has she been you may ask? She went to find others that could shift into wolves, as does she but we saw in the last episode that this quest to find others has not yet been completed, due to her being captured and kept in the form of a wolf by an old witch. Mulan to the rescue (by accident, but that obviously means it's fate!) and just like that, we have our beautiful red back in our sights. Her reappearance happened in the second half of the two-hour special, which can I just say that this half should have come first. The big ending to the first half, with Hook being turned into a Dark One I feel really tinted and made the return of Red less exciting. So much so, I had to take a week off and not watch the second half because I couldn't cope with that big cliffhanger, as much as I wanted to see Red return.
As she failed to complete the task, Red has decided to seek the help of, who better to invite than Mulan? Oh yes, Once upon a time will have its first Lesbian-Bi-Gay relationship and I completely support RedWarrior. (again look at her smile and the captivation on Mulan's face then please tell me you haven't already swooned and fell in love with the idea of these two? Or just Ruby on her own!)
We left these lovelies with Ruby/Red riding off with Mulan in search of others like her, meanwhile, Merida called upon the spirit of her father (which was awesome!) and she found out that it was Arthur, who killed her father on the battlefield and her next quest: to avenge his death.
Never thought a person could be so happy to see someone declare they will chop off King Arthur's head but looking in the mirror, there I was with a team Merida grin on my face.

Camelot is not as it appears in the legend or at least, not in Once Upon A Time. Of course not! Instead, we have King Arthur and his incomplete Excalibur, a drugged up wife because Guinevere was no longer in love with him and our spoilt little king couldn't have that, furthermore, his men won't even follow him into battle, so what was Arthur good for again? All he did was pull a sword out of a stone and he let Merlin down massively, he was supposed to be the son of Merlin, instead, he turned into a monster after allowing power to go to his head. If you haven't noticed already, Arthur is a horrible person and no one likes him, just to clarify. He goes to extreme lengths to find and reunite Excalibur, Guinevere began to feel unappreciated by Arthur, who previously promised her when he became King she would be his beloved Queen and would always fill the kingdom with Middlemist flowers for her birthday. However, he became obsessed with trying to find the sword so he could be the "rightful" king of Camelot, to his dismay as he pulled it out and realised it was incomplete, his obsession for power and to be the right king continued, leaving Guinevere to feel unloved and falling ever more deeply in love with Lancelot as they quested together to find the missing half of the sword; The Dark One Dagger. In Arthur's panic to keep Guinevere, he sprayed her with a sand which "fixes anything that is Broken", when Guinevere say he needs to choose between "his quest" or his marriage, otherwise she will follow her heart.
In Arthur's panic, he throws the sand over Guinevere and the rest of Camelot Kingdom, so they all follow "their king" and never leave his side.  Arthur as far as bad King's go is definitely one of the worst, the writers really twisted what we knew again about the legends and stories, which was quite nice to see a whole other perspective on it. However, unlike Peter Pan I didn't dislike him to an extent where I was relieved he was gone, Arthur was just like a tiny fly that you were first originally trying to help escape the room, however, it began to annoy you more and more by constantly sniffing around your food, landing on it so you couldn't eat it, constantly rubbing his hands or fly like legs together with greed as if he hit the jackpot; Arthur is a fly. He was not a villain, he was just a very corrupt, power hungry king who lost his kingdom and became obsessed with keeping it; still he was annoying and it was a relief to see him behind bars.
I still have a lot of questions though because the last time we saw Arthur, The Charming's locked him in a police cell and took Excalibur from him, he burnt the toadstool so they couldn't communicate with Merlin etc.  because he didn't want them to discover or find where Excalibur was or why they needed it to relinquish the darkness, because Arthur felt without the sword he wouldn't be king. Anyways, explained all that now! Where did Arthur go? Did Guinevere ever get freed from this sand and end up being back with Lancelot? What will happen to the kingdom now they have no Arthur to lead them? What happened to Violet and Henry? They did not wrap up the plot of Camelot too well in my personal opinion because I still have so many questions, perhaps only Merlin can answer them.

Merlin and Nimue I have to say, out of all the Camelot characters these two are my favourites; Even Nimue as a dark one, there is something about her darkness being the very thing I love, we'll get there. The love Merlin feels for Nimue is clear to see on screen and probably one of the purest, he is constantly concerned about her from when she first meets him with her run down, burnt village and the flowers from that village to the very end when they meet in the forest with Emma. Nimue and Merlin at the very beginning those many years ago, she was the first one which Merlin could not see and the first one he was uncertain of, he grew a level of intrigue for her then and there, it was written on his face that he was captivated by her beauty and her ideas of planting flowers to spite the man who ransacked her village; the smile that swept across his face was beautiful. We could say that his lack of ability to see the future is simply because she is the other half of him, often those who complete us we can not always see their futures perhaps because they are apart of ours. Our future is possibly one which we are not to see, unless we see the future of the man or woman who is to kill us, at least from my understanding of how fortune telling works right? Just as he is intrigued by her, we can see she has the same intrigue towards him, but there was always something darker and we could see that with the way she says "she wants revenge". No part of me is certain to how much however, I can trust the tiny inch of darkness within her; as soon as Merlin mentioned the Grail she wished to spend eternity with him, with the same level of power and magic, a part of me feels that she decided to manipulate Merlin to gain this power when he discussed cutting his magic and spending just his mortal life with her. Nimue did not seem 100% keen on this idea to start with, although she played a long with it and as we saw, she drank from the Holy grail despite what Merlin said and I do believe that was because when she knew Vortigan was around and she wanted her revenge. However, it is still clear that she really did love Merlin, she still supported his ideas and perhaps, originally she did intend to just spend a mortal life with him, but with the threat of Vortigan she wanted to be protected from being killed and she also knew she would live an eternity with Merlin. When she had Vortigan's heart in her hand, she became filled with revenge and hatred.
Can we just take a second to also appreciate her engagement ring though please? Like Merlin made it and that is the most sweet, sentimental engagement ring even if it is made out of a vine, however to be fair I am quite easily pleased when it comes to jewellery, I like it to be simple when it comes to rings. I believe Nimue was on a similar level to Rumple during her time alive as the dark one, consist arguing between her love for Merlin and her love for power, we can sense this struggle when she is born into the Dark One, she spends the rest of her life convincing herself and dressing it up as vengeance although she most definitely knows she made the wrong decision; she places Vortigan's mask on and his cloak, creating the standard dress-code for all dark ones.
I have to say, I really want one of these cloaks so stylish and cosy looking, even if it makes everyone look like a monk. Nimue's soul was tied to the dagger, along with all other Dark ones that passed after her, as Rumple said at the beginning, it is the darkness that is within all Dark One's speaking through the body or spirit of one previous. Curiously, the same does not happen when Merlin dies however, assuming this is because Merlin was not tied to Excalibur when he died instead we had the birth of another dark one, Hook (who did not appreciate the dress code). Furthermore, lets just quickly talk for one second about how Rumplestiltskin and Nimue had the shiny skin, where as Hook and Emma did not. Usually, the Dark one's also wear this almost reptile skin, however Hook and Emma didn't due to the fact that at the root of it all, darkness had not taken full power, it could be argued that Hook did embrace the darkness and was perhaps one of the most scariest of all (I have already expressed feelings on Rumple in previous post, sorry Robert you were scary to start but we've seen your soft side since then) however, in the end he did take the blade and sacrificed himself to rid the darkness forever or so he thought. Unfortunately, being double crossed by Rumple as always and even he was aware of it, because if you watch back you see he pointed out Rumple before he passed away (I can't even talk about his death, ever again!).
Merlin as a character alone was depicted and portrayed very well, we got the sense of high morals and wisdom, the kind heart, consideration for others down to a tea and when he loved it was obvious that he loved deeply. Almost a close second favourite wizard to Dumbledore of course, though not necessarily on the same level. Merlin's deep care and love for Nimue is reflected through and through, even towards the end before he goes because Hook and Nimue kill him, there were a lot of parallels between Emma and Merlin from when Nimue and Hook both turned dark, "if you crush his heart, you will ruin our happy ending" sort of deal, which I really liked, it shows that although filled with power both Merlin and Emma did not allow it to go to their heads, they still fought for the person or people they loved just in different ways. Furthermore, as Merlin dies his eyes turn to Nimue as her being the last one he saw before he passed with tears in his eyes, we could argue this was down to shock and not heart felt loved, but I'm going to go with love and in his last moments Merlin wanted Nimue to be the last thing he saw.
Although Nimue was admittedly dark throughout, perhaps you can argue that even before she became "immortal" she was still slightly dark, personally her character was incredibly enjoyable and fiery, which I quite admired. Even at the end however, she still could openly admit that Merlin was the person she loved most and perhaps, you could argue as she had many opportunities to kill him, the time she turned him into a tree, which linked well with when someone tried to cross the town line they also turned into a tree (could see Nimue in Hook's dark Curse). To the time she split the blade into two although she could have just killed Merlin then and there with Excalibur. She was a very scary and yet powerful dark one, you could see it through her actions and the way she could control Emma just as Rumple could and like Rumple, her love for that power and revenge admittedly overpowered her love for another person. Her character along side Cora, Peter Pan, Cruella and many others that are in the underworld including all other Dark one's is something eager to anticipate next season, if that happens.
Finally, my last point of what to expect from Season 5B and the underworld. Do not fear, the writers have promised us that actually the underworld season 5B is NOT solely about finding Hook, Co-creator Ed told Hollywood Reporter magazine alerted us
We have finally found Emma's true love and she really is going to fight to save him, Hookers everywhere are praying for his return; bring him home to us Emma. 

Tuesday 8 December 2015

Once upon a time 5A: Food for thought. Hook, Dark Swan, Rumple, Zelena, Robin, Regina and Baby Pistachio review.


Hello Everyone,

Those of you who know me personally or have just read my previous post in June, you will know how much I love Once upon a Time and with Season 5A drawing into a close until March, I have only a couple of words to summarise my feelings towards this winter season finale. Curious, intrigued, uncertain and out-of-body, to name a few. This review is super long as always, because I review the whole season and not just an episode at a time, as of 5B I think I will start to try to do an episode at a time so expect a review each week for this show as of March. For now, here is the first half of the review specificially looking at Zelena, Regina, Robin, Pistachio, Rumple, Hook and Dark Swan.

Let's bring you up to speed...
If you haven't already you can read my previous post about Season 4 finale, which should bring you to the start of season 5A, give yourself a couple of minutes to read through that OR please come back to this post once you've watched season 4 and 5A. Do not read any further if you have not seen it already as this contains many spoilers.
I do not take ownership of the photos or images on this post.

I feel like this is the perfect photograph to summarise this season half; what the fuck am I even watching? Season 5A has taken us on another rollercoaster ride from beginning to end, in a way I can not imagine. So let's start from the end of season 4.










Season 4 leaves us with Emma being "sucked up a vortex of evil" (we can only hope she was riding a magic unicorn, despite popular belief of Regina) after taking all of the darkness by tying her soul to the dagger, a pregnant Zelena who is carrying her half-sister's partners baby inside her (baby Hood in the witch-house!), an almost dead Rumplestiltskin who now has a pure heart, a deceased sorcerer's apprentice and a need to find Merlin to save Emma from darkness. So where did season 5A go from here? It begins with a young Emma, ironically going to watch "The Sword in the Stone" in the cinema, to set the scene for us entering Camelot. Within this opening, we see a young Emma pick-pocketing a candy bar spotted by the Usher, who we later find out is Merlin, (we should have really known from that moment, rewatching does help) telling our young Saviour not to remove Excalibur from the Stone. Say Emma didn't get Rumple to remove the sword from the Stone again, Hook wouldn't know he was the Dark one, we'd still have a Crazy King Arthur on a deluded fantasy, still have Emma as the Dark one and we may have seen a different season altogether. Of course, that might have been extremely dull and as a fanbase of Disney, I think we were all excited and wanting to see Excalibur whole.Emma's trip in the vortex of evil leads us into the Enchanted forest, where we see the new Dark one and our "former" saviour, Emma Swan, rise from the chamber, greeted by"The voice inside her head; the dark one's powers inside her, inside all the dark ones" taking the shape of Rumplestiltskin; probably a lot easier than being that of Gorgon's fire-breathing Bandersnatch. Here we see the struggle between Emma still being the saviour and Dark Swan begin, which Adam and Ed did promise us would be what we saw throughout the first half of Season 5 "Every part of her is fighting her dark urges" (-Edward Kitsis to Ew.com July 3rd, 2015). Whether that first half is part A or part B, I personally believe to remain unclear, as at the end of this Season we still see that Emma has a link to the dagger. When entering Gold's shop she can still hear it calling to her; perhaps because she was a former Dark One OR perhaps because a tiny part of the darkness still remains inside her. Throughout the season, we can safely say that so far we have not entirely lost our saviour to Darkness, it was teased in promo's before the new season began that she would have the stereotypical dark one glitter-reptilian skin, within this promo we see her imprisoned within a cell and then crushing the heart of the guard into not dust, but diamonds, giving extra glam, power and fear of what this Dark one maybe like.
I feel like perhaps the fans that were hoping to see her fully go into the darkness, as that promo would suggest (if you haven't seen it, click here) may feel slightly disappointed, but let's look at what happened to our "Dark swan" throughout the season.
Emma's adventure begins within the Enchanted Forest, we see her arguing with the voices of the Dark one's inside her head. Throughout the other seasons of Once upon a Time, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) as a character has shown some outstanding developments, from not only being a non-believer but furthermore, by starting to believe in herself, her loved ones and her family. In Season 5 this plays a very vital and crucial part, it differentiates her from all the previous Dark One's, who felt they needed the power of the Darkness to become someone either brave, powerful, revenge or perhaps because they believe they do not possess the ability to be loved or to be a "hero". ZoSo, the Dark one before Rumple, became a dark one due to his greed for power, Nimue the original Dark one was seeking revenge, likewise Hook embraced the darkness when he was seeking his revenge as well. However, in the incidence of Emma Swan, she took on the darkness to protect Regina and her family from living with it and as we see her arguing with the voices inside her head, we see "her guide" disappears due to her self-belief and her awareness of her self-worth.
Personally, I feel this is what makes her so different from Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle), as we often see that without the power of the Darkness he feels as though he is "not the man Belle deserves" and that he will always "be a coward", he shows a great lacking of self-respect and self-esteem without the power throughout all the Seasons. The only season where I can honestly say I have admired Rumple throughout was Season 3. We saw that he was good at the same time still a man with great power, still someone you didn't mess with and if you did then you were in for some really dark days. Since season 3, he has returned to believing he is a coward and his lack of self-belief, as well as the continuous need for power has consumed him. I believe this is the main reason why at the end of Season 5A, we see he has decided to regain the Darkness and tie himself to the Dark one dagger again, he feels like he can not achieve anything unless tied to it. However, he even proved to himself he could be a hero and yet still dangerous, still powerful I mean he fought Dark Hook and won.
In contrast to that Emma manages to defy the darkness within her and her actions are arguably always self-less. In fact, the only time she uses her Dark Magic throughout the season was to save Robin, save her family, save Hook and to reunite the dagger with Excalibur.Arguably, we do see her controlling Henry's first love, Violet,  in turn breaking her son's heart as part of her "plan" to have the tear of a freshly broken heart to create a potion. Let not also forget she wanted to put all the Darkness into Zelena then kill her using Excalibur, using Zelena as a vessel. Perhaps for the greater good of everyone else and to save everyone, but alas she still did something to Dark in order to achieve it. We could argue that although her acts are heroic, she has used Dark Magic to achieve it and therefore "she has embraced her darkness". I think this is what the writers were referring to when they said we would see her "fully embrace the urges of Darkness" in the first half of season 5A; she was refusing to indulge in Dark Magic. We must note that dark magic is completely different to light magic and through Emma's character we see this, it comes with a greater price than her just needing to believe in herself in order to make magic lights come out of her hands. In this Season we see her resurrect two people from the dead, reunite Excalibur to the dark one dagger, cast a potion to communicate with Merlin, command Killian and Nimue to appear etc. all of which come with a steep, dark price to pay from breaking her son's heart to saving Robin and sacrificing someone else at the request of Regina. The prices being as steep as they are, although the acts were out of love and care for another person, they are enough to change a person, she's still indulged in magic which she tried hard to resist and therefore, she has still changed into Darkness. All of this in mind, I think it is fair to say that Emma has in some way embraced the darkness, therefore, calm down. 

As far as embracing the darkness goes, Killian Jones has shown us what a pirate's life as the Dark One would be like. Killian's character I feel in some ways has developed as well taken steps back, from the moment he discovers he is the Dark one we see him change very quickly from the hero or "lovesick puppy dog" to this quirky, humorous Dark one, who has nailed the Rumple dearies; almost seeming slightly deranged and drunk from the idea of gaining revenge. Before he regained his memories of being the dark one, Killian since returning to Storybrooke had a certain darkness to him in comparison to how he was in Camelot. However, in both realms until he regained his memory, he still believed in Emma whereas in comparison we see Belle almost warning him in "Dark Swan" (episode 2) that loving a Dark one is almost impossible. This is where the differences between both Hook and Belle mirror the differences between Emma and Rumple, Emma we know has a firm belief in herself and she knows that she can fight the darkness just as Killian also mirrors this same support and shows he truly believes in her. In fact, Killian throughout this season is the only one who has barely used the dagger, to try to control Emma into doing the right thing, the only time he used the dagger was to bring her to him and to bring her home just after she became the Dark one. What I have loved throughout this season is the fact their love has always been pure, strong, true, in some parts we have arguments and feelings of betrayal, Hook is very much a man of his word and he did ask to be left to die a hero, but Emma disregarded that for what some would argue to be "selfish reasons" but what I personally believe to be the act of love. You can't honestly tell me, that if you had the power to resurrect someone from the underworld that you would just let them die? Someone you love? Through it all, their love has got past the tough times as true love does and this is because neither of them gave up on each other, at any point. Emma had confidence in Hook and believed they could fight the darkness together, However Hook did not have the same belief or faith in himself to fight the Darkness, not until the very end thanks to Regina. It is throughout the majority of Hooks time being the Dark one that we could say, we see some similarities between himself and Rumple. It is his lack of belief in being able to fight the darkness, as well as a desire for revenge that has made him indulge in every whim. Likewise, Rumple has a lack of belief that he can be a hero or a good person, however, add in a love for power as well as immortality and you perhaps have the perfect package. In contrast, yet similarity throughout Rumple's time of being the Dark one, we've seen him lose lack of belief in himself and therefore, Belle has also started to mirror this lack of belief as well, as on many occasions Belle has used the dagger to control Rumple. 


Personally I feel that the Rumbelle ship has not been given a chance to set sail throughout Once Upon a Time, something which as a former member of this ship displeases me. Rumples continuous love for power, Baelfire and Belle struggle has been carried through every season since the very pilot of the show and although his love for power is a part of his character, as stated before, due to his lack of self-belief and self-love, we see that this is the very reason why his relationship with Belle is not working. This lack of self-belief and self-love, I feel we reignited in the moments he lost his son, Baelfire. The purpose for him to give up the Darkness was due to Baelfire wanting him to be a hero, wanting him to be the father that he never had. However, when Baelfire passed away in Season 3, since then Rumple I believe has lost his real purpose of fighting the darkness. Yes, he loves Belle of course he does but is it enough? I can understand the frustration of those within this ship as we have seen on two occasions, that Rumple is very capable of being a hero and a very good hero at that. We still have that "do not mess with me" presence even when he is good, however, the writers then rip this from the ship again and throw him back into Darkness. The man that retrieved Excalibur from the stone, a man who finally had what he wanted at the end of Season 4; freedom from the dagger and a pure heart. Personally, I feel that this constant switch and putting Rumple back into this darkness is furthermore limiting Robert's acting. He is a very versatile and varied actor, well known for his ability to do many roles and do it with his own unique style I would like to see something more challenging in Rumple's character, to show the talents of Carlyle more fairly. However, I can argue, that I feel or at least hope now that Rumple will remain dark, his thirst and love for power are exceedingly strong, stronger now as he has the power of Emma as well as Hook and all other dark ones, inside him. I feel like this gaining of more power will change Rumple's character slightly, making him far more evil and powerful than he was previous. Furthermore, as his heart is no longer coal but starting from a clean slate, assuming this power will go to his head we'll see a lot more evil from Rumple perhaps in this next season, as he may feel more invincible and if this is the case, we can kiss Rumbelle goodbye.

In contrast, Emma and Hook's love throughout this season has been on a rollercoaster, I feel it is safe to say that this has been very focused on the CaptainSwan ship, true love and Emma's happy ending. (operation light swan or operation mongoose 2). The scenes of Hook within Camelot, as well as when he had no recollection of being the newest Dark One, in terms of his feelings for Emma almost mirrored each other showing that although Emma was dark, he would go to the ends of Earth and beyond to save and protect her, that he always loved and he always believed in her right?
Nope, hang on a second! In Storybrooke, he at one point said he no longer loved her on two occasions, once when he was on board the ship and refused to accept Emma as the Dark One, Second after discovering he was a new dark one and going full on badass. A lot of the fans I have seen have been saying "how could Hook change within 5 seconds of finding out he was the dark one?" but there is a reason I said "almost" mirrored each other.
In Camelot, we saw a lot of Hook showing true belief in Emma as he is probably the only character, who refused at points to use the dagger to convince her to do the right deed. In fact, the only time he used the dagger was to try to call for Emma and bring her to him at the start of the season. When returning to Storybrooke six weeks later after his memory was erased, Colin showed an in between of Hook where for me personally, I sensed a darker and different edge to him, but I could still see his love for Emma being overpowering of that darkness at points. Example, the moment on board the ship where he said "he no longer loved her" I believe to be the Darkness instead of our beloved pirate talking to her, during episode one "The Dark Swan" when he walked out of her home and said "something felt different", showing first real signs of uncertainty because of Emma being the Dark one, again I believe this to be the Darkness within Hook.

Despite those two occasions, he still believed in her in some way, we see this mostly in "Birth". (episode 8) Throughout this episode until the end, in particular, we see Hook trying desperately to rekindle what he and Emma had, saying he forgives her for whatever she is trying to atone for, although this basically backfires when Hook discovers Emma saved him by tethering his soul to the other half of Excalibur thus turning him into the Dark One. However, the season finale episode "Swan Song" shows a Hook who can fight the darkness to be the man he wants to be, the man who protects Emma, Regina and their families by sacrificing himself, he shows in this moment that his true love for Emma outweighs the power of Darkness, as he puts an end to all the Dark ones returning. Can we also take a moment to appreciate the difference in music as Emma rose from the Dark one chamber in comparison to Killian? We had some pretty heavy, dark, orchestral sounds from when Killian rose as the dark one whereas, in contrast, Emma had a sort of light and almost hopeful sound to it.
If I didn't talk about the paralells between Snowing and CaptainSwan I would be foolish, Adam and ed have used this in particular I would say as a comfort to the fans, yes we're going to the underworld, yes we're going to see cora, Peter Pan and many other people we don't want to see but it's ok! Because we're going to find Hook, we will always find Hook. In addition to this reassurance, I feel that it is a verbal symbolism like an unbreakable vow, this is true love, the real deal and the idea of them sharing one heart is symbolic on it's own. I really can not cope it's just a beautiful comparison and relfection of love; though I am sure many of the Snowing fans feel deeply offended "that's OUR LINE". This shouldn't be taken personally, Adam and Ed have used this as a tool to reinforce that this is the real deal and there isn't any way these two no matter what is thrown at them, they will not be seperated. 

On to something a little bit more Wicked, Zelena and Robin's "baby pistachio" has arrived at once upon a time (thanks Emma for the onion rings). Let's bring you up to speed with this one because honestly, it's a little bit complicated. So since season 3B, we have had the lovely Rebecca Mader playing the overly Wicked Zelena, if we face facts any Evil Regal has secretly loved to hate this witch, is it normal for all those who are Dark to be so deranged? In any event, so Zelena at the end of 3B went through the time vortex with Emma and Hook, during this time Emma freed Robin's first wife, Marian, from ironically, Regina's cell. Before returning to the present day in Storybrooke, Zelena killed Marian and used a potion within her necklace to transfigure into her, fooling everyone into believing she is Marian including Robin. Eventually, although hit by Elsa and giving her an even colder heart, she is freed and Regina encourages Robin to start a life in New York City with Marian and Roland, without her. Down the line of Season 4, Rumple and Regina discover that Robin has been tricked a little too late as Zelena is now carrying baby Pistachio. She was two months pregnant, however zapped out of her cell and given onion rings by Dark Swan, her pregnancy soon sped up and welcome the new baby. Firstly, I loved Dark Swan in that labour room giving sass to Zelena after she was, in my personal opinion, rude to Regina, that Swanqueen love shows no limits.
Second, I couldn't help but notice how upset everyone has been over Regina and Hood deciding to send Zelena away to Oz, I am aware of Regina's history plus the fact she was allowed to keep Henry despite how semi-insane she was in Seasons 1 and 2. However, she always placed Henry first in some way or another and eventually accepted that Emma was his biological mother, with just as many rights as she has and furthermore I think she realised that he's grown up a lot since the start of the show. Almost having your heart ripped out by your great-grandfather can be enough to make you realise what kind of man you want to be, him also being the new author and holding that much power has made Regina realise he can handle a lot of responsibilities. Let's not also forget that since Season 3 she has changed dramatically from her previous Evil queen stance, I hear you why can't Zelena do the same? Why isn't Zelena been given a chance?
Back in season 3 (click it to see the clip), Regina placed Zelena's necklace in her vault and gave her a second chance instead of killing her, in an interesting sibling way where she threatens her to take the second chance or she will rip her heart out. Take it from someone with a sibling, this is normal behaviour and trust me, although Regina threatens it she will not actually do it because if she was to do it, she would have by now. The truth I feel is that Regina is clearly tired of Zelena trying so desperately hard to take everything from her or tired of giving her chance after chance, she obviously loves her sister and that is plain to see for the typical sister love of "no one hurts her but me" kicks in during the "Birth" episode. Zelena is refusing to take these chances and make a change. Personally, I feel no sympathy for her especially after in "Swan Song" where she says "neither of you will be here to stop me, you'll both be dead! I'm going to raise this child to be wicked" personally, my morals are very much against this as I don't believe it is fair first of all, to celebrate the death of your child's father, in addition to then force the child to be someone that she may not want to be; Don't even get me started on the fact she's actually considering calling the baby Pistachio. 


I can understand Robin and Regina's sudden change of heart and sending Zelena back to Oz, they had to do whats right by Hood's daughter and offer her the best chance she has at being the woman she wants to be, I love how this also mirror's Killian's story with his father and how that also relates to Regina wishing to kill her mother and hiring him to do so, I felt this clever parallel was very enjoyable to watch during "Swan Song". 
Regina has shown that she is the true saviour this season and proven just how far she is willing to go, to keep her true love Robin, how far all of them are willing to go to secure each others happiness. Snowing and all the dwarfs even stepped in offering a part of their lives to trade for Robin's. It's nice to see that the whole town are starting to see Regina has changed as well, not just those that are close to her I feel like we finally have our queen. In addition to this, in the end it was her words to Hook that made him realise what he had done and made him decide to change, to become the man he wanted to be; a hero. You Go Regina! She's also shown an amazing growth as a mother, not only to Henry, but to Roland and Baby Hood as well, which is fantastic to see. I am loving the fact that Regina is starting to believe in herself and to become a true hero, the rest of the town starting to believe it as well was really enjoyable to see in the first episodes. Although they have not been given much screentime, I personally feel like these characters are in a perfect place, we've seen sme growth in Regina when it comes to self belief and although with their complications, OutlawQueen still stands strong; yay! 

Saturday 5 December 2015

Tarte: I am like 365 days behind in this news, I am sorry.

Hello, Everybody.

I hope you are all well on this fine Saturday (depending where you are in the world), it is the afternoon in ever-so-windy Egypt; I'm actually really too scared to get my washing in due to this wind I'm hearing outside, that and it's also freezing outside my bed.
I have never used any Tarte cosmetics before, but I was eagerly excited to try some at some stage, currently speaking they do not sell to the area of the UK I live in and to my knowledge they are not available in Egypt either. From the many reviews I have read on their cruelty-free products, the more I read the more excited and uncontrollable my desire to get my hands on some products became. However, Tarte cosmetics the cruelty-free company, who have brought us fabulous makeup products such as the Amazonian Clay blusher's, butter lipsticks, camera lashes and many other fabulous products have been bought by Kose.

Kose corporations were founded in 1946 in Japan by Kozaburo Kobayashi, who had a desire to give create makeup and skincare products. They sell a wide range of products under brand names such as Infinity, awake, Kose, Beaute de Kose, Cosme Decorat, Jill Stuart, Albion and many others; as of March 2014 the company has 33 subsidiaries. Their main beliefs are that the success of the products is based on the care for the environment, within this "environment well fare" that includes the working environment within their company. Kose corporations are known in the beauty world for their testing on animals to ensure "products that will fulfill the clients hopes and dreams" and the company has recently bought our beloved Tarte cosmetics. So where does that leave Tarte in the land of testing on animals?

Tarte Cosmetics was founded in 1999 by Maureen Kelly, her main philosophy was to create a makeup brand that would be good for you, using natural minerals instead of highly produced, "icky" chemicals in her products and a firm belief in the environmental well-being of the planet, forever looking for ways to take care of the planet whilst making the products we all know and love.

Back to the situation at hand, Tarte was bought by Kose last year in 2014, but after only doing extensive research into Tarte recently-yes, I am aware I am very far behind, for this I can only offer my deepest apology.
So after announcing the news, Tarte has given a public "reassurance" that they will not test on Animals.

To all of our tartelettes: As you may have heard, tarte has recently been acquired by Japanese company KOSÉ. It’s truly been an amazing ride, from the little venture Maureen Kelly started in her bedroom 15 years ago to the global powerhouse we’re privileged to join. Our vision has always been to create beauty products that are ‘healthy treats for your skin,’ foster the highest level of customer service and give back to the community and the environment. By joining the KOSÉ family and adding to that rich portfolio, we can build on what we’ve already accomplished with powerful products and explore expanding the tarte brand in new and exciting countries. And rest assured we are committed to remaining a cruelty-free brand and will not test on animals. Maureen will stay on as the CEO and looks forward to continuing a lasting relationship with our tartelettes.

After many tartelettes posting their concerns and comments all afternoon, Maureen Kelly herself made an announcement to reassure all our tartelettes that they will remain an eco-friendly, cruelty-free cosmetic brand and Kose will support this decision 150%.

Hey tartelettes – It’s Maureen
I’ve been reading your comments and concerns over the past hour and wanted to let you know I hear them all loud and clear. I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I started tarte out of my one bedroom apartment and I’m still just as passionate about making innovative, eco-friendly products that deliver real results. I’ll still be in the office every day working with my team to develop new products I hope you’ll love as much as I do. Remember, tarte will NOT be testing on animals, or EVER test on animals. We are a cruelty-free company and will remain one. KOSÉ is completely on board with our position as an eco-friendly, cruelty-free company and has given tarte such a great opportunity to grow and expand around the world. It’s really an exciting time and we can’t wait to reach more tartelettes worldwide. Please look at the checklist below and be assured tarte is in great hands.
· We will remain a cruelty-free beauty brand focused on high-performance naturals™
· We will continue to manufacture our high-quality products to our exacting standards, which means our formulas will continue to be formulated without parabens, mineral oil, phthalates, triclosan, sodium lauryl sulfate, and gluten
· We will continue to formulate with good-for-you ingredients like Amazonian clay, maracuja, minerals, colored clay, superfruits and vitamins
· With my team, we will continue to innovate and create products we believe tartelettes will love
· We will continue to expand internationally where are our high standards are met—we can’t wait to reach more tartelettes worldwide!

In my personal belief, I will keep Tarte written as a cruelty-free company, just as I do Body Shop, NARS, Urban Decay, Burt's bees etc. However, it is noted that their mother company does test on animals.
I try to ensure that you guys are kept up to date with the latest in beauty knowledge from here on, I was aware that I did put Tarte on my cosmetics cruelty-free list. In addition to that, they have remained on the PETA cruelty-free list, however, they are not accompanied with the leaping bunny logo due to incompletion of forms.

Ultimately, it is your decision to make, I strongly encourage my readers to have independence and to make their own decisions as a consumer, with what they feel comfortable with. I hope I provide sufficient enough research and education to assist you in your purchase choices, as well as making you more aware of what it is you are consuming. You are not me, you have your own beliefs, own morals, own principles and you are able to make your own decision so you OWN that freedom! I do deeply apologise for being unaware of Tarte being owned by Kose and not including this on the cruelty-free list. I will do my up-most best to stay on top of all news beauty so you have the knowledge first.

Until we meet again ladies and Gents,
Chow for now! xox  

Thursday 3 December 2015

Guess who is going to tread foot on British soil?

Hello, World! 
I haven't posted in a very long while so my deepest apologies, I have missed you all so much. It is with my apologies and excitement, that I am happy to announce, I will be returning to the United Kingdom and planning on staying there from 23rd December 2015. This is due to a number of things the first being that I am currently not happy in my employment, nothing to do with my employees or my pupils in the classroom, but I personally do not enjoy teaching and the more I stay trying to enjoy it the more I am realising that I miss blogging, counselling and generally caring for people in an alternate way.
I would like to thank my partner Tom, who has been overly supportive and brilliant throughout, he was the person who helped get me the job in Egypt and took care of my accommodation whilst I was here, he's supported me and done so much more, he really is truly amazing, I can't even stress how important he is to me and I owe him so much for being there for me, looking out for me and not being grossed out by me, even when I'm eating sweetcorn with my hands!
I would also like to thank the amazing support of my head co-ordinator, May, and the rest of the year 3 team, Brinette, Louise, Jenna and Rajwana who have given me so much advice, help and support throughout my time here they have made it so much easier for me to feel at home and I really appreciate all your expertise! Kayleigh, who has been a fantastic friend to have and has reignited my love for drama and the performing arts I would have been lost without her energetic and positive attitude. I would also like to thank the supportive parents of my pupils, who have shown great care for myself and of course, their children, but they have been fantastic throughout my time here so I really want to say, thank you. Everyone else who has made my time in Egypt exceptional, all the fantastic people I have met I want to thank you :) You have been brilliant! 
    I feel like it is the right time to return home and focus on myself. Those of you who have read "Meet my friend Anxi" know that I have been struggling with mental illness for the good part of 6 years. Before I left for Egypt this took a severe turn for the worst, the best way I can describe what I felt, it was like I was suddenly thrown into a dark black room, no windows, no doors and suddenly I was being thrown from one wall to another by my own emotions. It felt like I had no control and I still feel as though I have no control right now.
    I no longer want to be trapped in this room where I'm just hurtled around by my own feelings, I want to have control, I want to think logically, I want to be myself again because often I feel like I have lost myself to my emotions.
    I do not always feel like this, I do not always have days where I'm so low that leaving my bed is a difficult task, in fact, I have days where I feel like I could take on a 70ft tall fire-breathing dragon, who is on a strict "eat the Natalie's" only diet. I want to have constant dragon fighting days, days where no matter what happens-sad news or good, I feel like I can rationally take it on. I can't stop the negative thoughts popping into my head, but I want to be able to not let them control me, to not let them set off or cause feelings of sadness and emptiness, anger, frustration etc. I want to be in control and have the choice to be happy, at present I don't feel like I have the control to choose to do that.
    I will be back in the UK which means I will be back to beauty blogging in a number of weeks! I can not wait to share my Christmas beauty goodies with you all!
    Chow for now!